/Desde El Dia Que Te Fuiste

/Desde El Dia Que Te Fuiste

hello!
i realised that these few days my blogposts have been pretty bright and happy.
but actually ah, im damn emo lor!
just because i dont show it, doesnt mean im not ok!
i've been resisting the urge to go kick the wall or throw something around!
i've been resisting telling people the truth which really hurts like,"yo i dont like you ok."!
i've been resisting doing things i would have done!

my god!
everything in my life needs improvement!
my life sucks, i suck, my mentality sucks, my bowling sucks, my hair sucks, my studies suck, my love life sucks, my interaction with people sucks, GOD, EVERYTHING ABOUT ME SUCKS!

i need self discipline!
alot alot alot of self discipline!
i need to stop being a bitch!
i need to stop lying to people!

i need to study! alot! you know, i havent exactly MUGGED, ever since i came in here! omg! this is scary! i need to mug! MUST! i have like 2 years worth of work to cover! my god!

and i've been putting off running for various reasons that i could convince myself with. now no more ok. after a divs. on SATURDAY.

speaking about a divs, OMG! my bowling sucks so much its comparable to the black hole! i shouldnt even be let out on those lanes!

i need to focus! my attn span is shorter than me! thats like damn short la zz.

and my mind is sot sot one ok. its like, when people emo cry cry cry cry cry right, i cry cry laugh laugh laugh cry cry laugh laugh cry laugh and laugh somemore. scary leh.

i think i know why these few days even more sot. because of CAFF and COMP. bad mix.

ok actually, i think my emo post doesnt sound emo now.

hmm.

OK IM GOING TO SLASH MY ARMPITS AND BLEED TO DEATH BECAUSE I HATEZ THE WORLD AND THE WORLD HATEZ ME TOO.

is it better?

actually. i wont slash my armpits.

ok lets choose another approach.

OK IM GOING TO SLASH EVERYONE'S ARMPITS AND LET THEM BLEED TO DEATH BECAUSE I HATEZ THE WORLD AND I WANNA KILL Y'ALL!

sounds better. haha. (:

Am i supposed to leave you now

MY HEART HURTS ):

I can't believe what I just gave away;
now i can't take it back

I need to hear you say;

feeling abit empty now.

byebye.

are you really such an idiot? can't you tell why i don't even say hi anymore ?

sidenote: daryl spoils buses.
went on the bus, that kuku stood at the door and the door started acting spastic and opening, half closing and opening again, just like a bird flapping. and it continued doing so for a few more minutes -_- and it only worked after daryl went to sit down. rofl.
and the bus door was fine after we alighted. LOL.

and there was some commotion going on along the stretch of road outside my house that they had to kinda seal it up, and the buses that went past there had to do a detour. thank god i didnt take my usual bus home.

and i got blisters on my toes on BOTH FEET. congrats to me.

runaway runaway

maybe i feel so lost and empty inside without something stable to hold on to?

whatever.

twit for a day is now held weekly.

why everyone complain my blog too many words ):

hahahaha ok i shall camwhore more often ok? :D

ok la these few days got sh00 manii thiings happen n00resx?

not in a good way either.

screwed sp. meh meh waste my 40 bucks.

but the team was gooood. congrats to yx and petty!

(i dont wanna post the team photo coz i look unglam. haha.)

a photo from the day of 18 feb where we took 270++ pictures together on bird's apple. and that was ONLY on bird's apple. :D

cg outing on 19 feb!

happy belated birthday to len and bernard!

yay~!

(they look abit alike, or maybe it's just the camera.)

szeling!

(ok here i got story like wahaha. my mother walked past as i scrolled along this photo and she was like, your boyfriend ah. so i scrolled down somemore and she was like, eh another one ah? ROFL!)

prettyboy!

mass toilet (:

more than half of 14/08 pae. HAHA. ck pose sexy sia!

ENOUGH PICTURES? ;D

coz i think it is lor. haha. pics take so long to upload sia. so so long.

when it could be spent on AUDI!

@_@

(i'll talk about the jae class nxt time, it's like 0126 already and there's school tomorrow. but ninian has switched from bakkwa to beef rendang. haha.)

my ahkong passed away on sunday and yes i am sad, even though i dont really show it. maybe it's not such a bad thing coz it totally beats being totally dependent on everyone else and stuff like that, but yeah you get what i mean huh. im actually still under the illusion that he's just lying there in bed sleeping like he usually is and maybe one day he'll just get up and walk around, shuffling around the shop up and down the stairs and telling me to study hard. have fun in heaven ahkong, you're greatly missed.

i guess im alright.

when will I see you again?

nearly late for school again. haha.
watched roadrun
spent 15 minutes sticking the green ears on hairband
TOGA!
mousey deco.
wearing tk bowling shirt over to prevent cloning
lime green fbts on GG RAT
14/08 on the track cheering
5th spot for mousey decos
trekked around sports com
amgamg no fair no fair ):
tried to get your attn back
park bike
pizza hut in 2839475209384750 years
pp
productive shopping with sam sonia rach xiu (alphabetical order)
bought skirt
went home
daydreamed that nothing happened
went for tuan yuan fan
cried at bustop
imagined if a spider dropped on my from the roof of the bustop
got bored at tyf
family just left me at jln P.
went home by bus, much to the dismay of the aunts and uncles
they thought i was going to meet boyfriend.
yelled on the phone on the way to bustop
people thought i was mad
listened to emo music
reached home earlier than parents
afraid to look at your pics coz i'll get sad again

(haha i realised i havent had an emo post in AGES.)

CNY in 20 minutes!
going xi fa cai!
sheng ti jian kang!
xue ye jing bu!
cai yuan gun gun!
angbao lai lai!

something in my head

i've been neglecting my blog for the last 2 days, and like wow.

thing that have happened, listed down.

-my k on the keyboard spoilt. i need to press like 872364928374 times before it appears.
-somehow my mum's nicer to me. i dont know why either.
-something to do with msn.
-something else to do with someone.

yes im not feeling really high and happy i think it's because my lower abdomen is kinda in pain and i keep typing lower as loser, so. ok there was no point in that im just stating a fact and i dont feel like putting punctuation coz the words are just spilling like omg wow who the fuck cares about punctuations anw.

oh yes yes btw im in OG 7. and to report to sch at 815 on 2nd jan, bring extra tee and shorts for games. AND the best part of it, i have training. :D

something about daryl in skirts and pa tuoing in identical shirts, mini skirts and slippers.

byebye.

i was supposed to blog sth about bowling, but the roll off sucked. period.

never knew how easy you could steal my heart i miss you come home soon

pug jelly - come home soon.

after you're done with that song, play this one.



pug jelly - ransom letter

anyway, HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY KENNY! heehee.

nothing much happened today, just like everyday(except i've got a new pair of shoes). im feeling all sianned out, all emoish and lovelonging.

my hands are itching to bowl. shockshock wants to roll too. ):

I am a fucking demanding bitch so quit using that on me.

I hear our song; it keeps playing on the radio
You're on my mind, I can't let you go
I'm all alone and I just want you to hold
Please take my hand. never let me go

I can't unlove you

went rollerblading w lw and len (((((((((((((((((((:
but too bad it rained like cats dogs camels elephants.
so poor len fell and hit her tailbone. ):

and something about gay conversations that made lw want to blog about this if she had a blog.

went pp to slack around, ended up at borders reading :D

so much for standing on one leg til the bus comes. ok so that was what i did aft lw's bus came and i was alone at the bustop with weird uncles. big deal.

which made me forget about what happened.

bedok inter is a good place to be.

saw this guy.

perfect skin
perfect hair
perfect figure
perfect height
perfect complexion
perfect clothing
perfect bag
perfect shoes
perfect style of walking
perfect look

guess what..

HE'S AN AH KUA!

(kua kua kua..)

so sad he's not female la! he could win all the ms universe contestants hands down! his make up so nice somemore!!

die ah ladies, there's a man snatcher who comes with a penis. lol. (no offense.)

bedok has alot of unstraight people. must be the influence. HAHA. ok i dont know what influence. but see alot in bedok leh! o_O

anyway. <\3. =/

It's too late to apologize

finally got the date promised 2 years ago and we forgot to take pictures. -_- i love you too hun!

training was ok i guess, apart from nearly dislocating the thumb, but thankfully the muscle pulled it back in place. bloody span problem. oh twisted, please be in sg ASAP. i dont care how, miraculously appear tomorrow or something. ):
imafuckenterritorialbitch.dontplaywithwhatsmine.
means alot for a song to be replayed for a few hours.

mummy's birthday tomorrow! and 5th aunt's! and gen's! and elyn! (lol, alot leh.)

to think, to date i havent found someone with my birthdate. (:

Because if you don't believe me, you wouldn't be here.

How would you know how it feels like to love someone with all your heart and at the same time, knowing that all that happens is just a break up and everything else would just be a distant memory?

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone

Thinking of you till it hurts

I know you're hurt too

but what else can we do, tormented and torn apart

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart

For times when my life seems so low

It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring

When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you

I know you were right believing for so long

I'm all out of love, what am I without you?

I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home

Away from these long lonely nights

I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too

Does the feeling seem oh so right

And what would you say if I called on you now

And said that I can't hold on

There's no easy way, it gets harder each day

Please love me or I'll be gone,

I'll be gone...

bye.

zomg i cant stand it i have no idea why i even bother about you right now; it's not like im obliged to, i just am. maybe it's pent up stress from this, or else i dont know what to call it. honestly, why can't you keep your word? i know, you didnt expect this to happen, but it wouldnt have if you just did. seriously.

anyway it's not for me to tell you what to do, what to say, what to think, but please, spare a thought for me. you did, we all knew it. but that is like the exact opposite of what you're doing right now.

god im so confused now i can't even play my sudoku. bye.

it feels like im in love with someone i can't have all over again. and that is very wrong. because that's not supposed to happen. esp not in this. not this case, not this time.but i guess i can put all the blame on you. or not.
or maybe we could just talk.
and you have no idea how many times i threw you into the CBC.

as we go on

HELLO (:

this is probably the last time im blogging as me, before i go for OBM.
(i kinda expect some changes after that. after all, i paid good money.)

my mum says hi,next time do nnot read her blog its nonsense

yes mum typed that la. seriously. haha. (so much for being motherproof. she wanted to see the blog, but of course, NOOOOOOO.) and everytime she pressed a key i thought the keyboard was going to break.

anyway back to the topic. or whatever's left of it.

oh yeah. im bring this super large like $%^&* suitcase. repeat, SUITCASE. the one you bring on holidays. haha. yeah right i wish i was holidaying on the coast, instead of doing something really -_- in it.

feel really bugged right now. the same ol' depression. you know, you know.

of all good days to have the time of the month, i have it right before the obm itself. i am so not interested in changing in the middle of the jungle ok. and what if there are sharks in the sea T_T

and i sincerely hope ahkong will get well soon. must. must must must. im serious. please god, let that whatever growth it is go away miraculously and none thereafter. you have no idea what you're pushing at.

im depressed. horribly depressed.

so depressed im nauseous. i feel like throwing up everything. is there like, mental regurgitation?

i miss bowling. ):
i am so not ready for obm.

(ps. heard the grad song just a few moments ago and everything's flooding back.)

its the time of the year.

and wish me luck. im sorry the last post is so choppy and really random, but im sorry, maybe i'll be back later. who knows.

XOXO justin baby. haha.

can't help but think that

I'm in a serious need of entertainment because my only form of entertainment for the day is ongoing and I'm not there ):

1. A random girl/guy approaches you asking your name, you say..
hi.

2. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
I know you want me to say a dick, but no.

3. What does your last text message say?
*private*

4. The last song you listened to?
Learn to be lonely

5. Who do you trust with your life?
darl

6. If you could change your name to anything what would it be?
i still have an english name untouched.

7. What do you say if someone tells you you're gorgeous?
thanks

8. When was the last time you ran?
yesterday.

9. How often do you curse?
as much as the clouds in the sky today. (its about to rain.)

10. Do you trust all of your friends?
pretty much.

11. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
mmhmm

12. Have you ever talked on the phone while in the shower?
yeah. my phone spoilt after that. and it was retarded ok.

13. Which one of your friends do you think would make the best prostitute?
uh.. they all seem decent. (:

14. Are you afraid of falling in love?
not really (:

15. Would you stop talking to your friends because of a new partner?
nope.

16. What features do you find most attractive in the opposite sex?
everything.

17. Fill in the blank. I love____you
everything about

18. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
PASS HIGHER CHINESE Os! with a B!

19. Who would you call after waking from a coma?
darl. my family would probably alr be there.

20. How many kids do you want to have?
2 to 4?

21. Would you make a good parent?
dont think so

22. Where was your default picture taken?
tamp saf

23. What is your middle name?
guess?

24. Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
darl

25. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
you wouldnt want to know.

26. Shoe size?
5 half

27. What are you wearing right now?
shirt, shorts, you know.

28. Righty or Lefty?
righty

29. Can you make a dollar in change right now?
nope

31. Favorite jeans?
the one i have?

32. Favorite animal?
KANGAROO HAHAHA

33. Window or aisle seat?
window. more private for making out. plus got scenery! :D

34. Have you ever had chicken pox?
nope

35. Have you had surgery?
nope

36. Ever had plastic surgery?
nope

37. Who knows you the best?
my darls :D

38. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
glasses today, LENSES TOMORROW! :DDD

39. Ever been in a fight with your pet?
kinda.

40. Been to Mexico?
nope

41. Did you buy something today?
your love?

42. Did you get sick today?
kinda

43. Did you miss anyone today?
mmhmm

44. Did you get in a fight with someone today?
pretty much

45. Last persons bed you lay in?
guess?

46. Last person to see you cry?
can't rmb.

47. Who/what made you cry?
him.

48. What are your plans for the weekend?
FONDLE MY BALLSSSSSSS

49. Who do you think will repost this?
sonia?

50. Are you happy right now?
kinda

51. Drunk dialer or texter?
dialer. i hate texting.

52. Are you hungry?
nope

53. Are you a forgiving person?
people who have short term memory forgive.

54. Would you ever share a girl/boyfriend with your best friend?
no. if she dares touch him i'd kill her. HAHA. kidding kidding :D (but im sharing alr T_T)

55. Have you lost a friend recently?
not very recent.

56. Are you talking to someone while doing this?
nope

57. What are you about to do right now?
look for more quizzes.

-----------------------------------------------------------

anyway it started to rain. haha.
I'm like so tempted to go wherever you are right now and snog you senselessly in the rain.

right. now it's pouring. my hair's a mess. im pmsy. my table's cluttered with tons of paper. i cant find my hmt slip. i havent studied for hmt. i feel like going back to sleep but i'm not tired enough. I can't wait for tomorrow's 1pm.

I'M ONE FUCKING WRECK.

i said that i wouldnt bother.
as usual, of course, the heart wont listen
you stupid thing
shoo shoo.

then again, it's been awhile.
since i've felt something.

but whats the point of feeling if all you're gonna have is the cold?

tell me why, why, why do i even bother?
maybe because i didnt know what i got myself into on the 1st step?
screw it.
take it as we've never met, alright?
honestly. you've ruined me more than anyone has.
it's like, you know, more than a step further. it's a whole escalator.

yes im so pissed there's no title for this post.
grrr.
what would you do if you were me anyway?

Fell too deep into you

Fell too deep into you

ok yes, hi.
the day was fun, really. capt ball, physics, ss, phone calls, A math paper 2s, tm. yeah.

maybe i'll say how fun it was when i feel better.

All i want is for you to treat me properly, just like you do to them. Why lie to me in the 1st place when you know that you'll nv keep that promise? I'm not even asking for you to pluck out a bloody strand of your hair. Or half. Or whatever. For a purpose as mine, I don't think I'm asking too much. it's the standard. honestly, how do you think it'll maintain if it's this way? It's not like im forcing you to stick to me 24/7, much less talk to me everyday. or whatever. maybe soon enough, i'll never have to see traces of you ever again. hopefully yes, yet, I'm not looking forward to that.

on a happier note, my contacts are coming after HMT Os and there's training tomorrow. oh yay.

sealed, stamped, sent.

sealed, stamped, sent.

hehe.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YIXUAN!
finally 17. haha.
put good use to the presents ok?
share its goodness. :D
muacks muacks love (((((:

thats it man, i dont know why i go to sch for these boring lessons and there's nothing interesting for me to look at except for the guy who looks korean-chinese just because he looks korean-chinese. and of course there're darlings to keep me company, but hello? (haha cheah) they arent in my classssss!

tomorrow even better, 1chinese, 2la, 2 math, 2 chem. knnbccb BORING. im not even taking chem nxt yr, and of course not LA. DUH. HAHA. and chinese too. i mean, HELLO?(haha cheah) go to school for BORING math?

but since sonia darling can't pon school tomorrow im rethinking my decision to sleep in. haha.

im dying i need sleep and i need a kiss and you to wrap your arms around me when im sleeping while caressing my hair darling where're you please dont break my heart again ):

我们这样骗得了谁？

darlin' never set me free

darlin' never set me free

this is one of the few days where all i want to do is to crawl through the screen to wherever you are to give you a kiss, get lost in your eyes and go back knowing that you love me.

but of course, you dont. (because firstly, how do you crawl through the screen, you tell me?)

so i guess now's the perfect time for something alcoholic and savory and pray i dont awake tomorrow because im so drunk in your love it hurts.

confused good club rocks ass man. :D